Random Thoughts: Human Relation, Definition & the Future

One good friend of mine once said to me “Making a relation is very simple but maintaining is very very difficult and complex”. This statement, again like many other powerful statements, has lots of meaning hidden beneath the simple words used to describe the sentence. First of all, what exactly is a relation. The word often is tossed around the professional and personal fields, often with the pshychologists and the purists. Truly defining a relation would be difficult as relation like love is something which is not duly given value by the mere definition of it’s english synonm. Relation is something which we are constantly surrounded with, like air. It’s the basic essence of society, the bare minimum like a atom. It’s the very fabric which shapes human history and life, infact which defines the humans. Humans above all are social animals, and society is defined on the syntax of this word relation. Every human maintains a certain relation with the surroundings, be it with nature or mostly with other humans, without relation human existence is not defined. For an average man, he maintains a professional relation in the workplace, with his working collageus and his peons, with his senior boss and with his partners. He maintains a personal relation with his friends, the intimacy of those relation defined by the closeness associated with his friends and his girlfriends. He maintains all sorts of other relations, like relation of a son with his parents, relation of a mentor for some follower of him or his junior.

However with every relation, comes certain expectations. You can expect an husband to be loyal to his wife and to duly love his wife. Likewise you will expect a wife to obey his husband’s higher wisdom and to devote time of his life for her husband’s needs and likewise maintaing the household needs and the child (however such definitions of husband and wifes are never used in the modern context of society, which has truly altered the role of girls as exhibited from the ancient times; truly a revolutionarly age we are living our lifes into). Expectations, however large or small they maybe, always exist between a relation. And hence I said earlier, a relation is made with as simple as saying “I Love you” or “Hello” but the expectations that follow thereon is the most difficult part for maintaing that relation. But irony is this that had there been no expectations to follow, no relation would have existed in the first place. For example, suppose a boy living distantly comes to know his mother is very sick. He would than definitely toil immense distances and bad weather or rather do anything in the possibility of the world to meet his mother. He would not do this for any other woman, because he doesn’t maintains that relation with others and hence other women don’t expect the boy to toil hardships to meet them when they are sick. The sick mother on the other hand has her bare expectationt to meet her son, without which the relation would not be entirely possible. Hence the bottom line is, the amount of expectations we perceive from a human relation is what adds to the complexity of a relationship, and yet it is this expectations we have that maintains the relation (however difficult it may be) and this relationship is what makes us truly Human.

Moreover, People in a relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. They are further regulated by courts, laws and other entities of the society, hence completing the circle!

One Human, named Murphy, gave a very simple but delicate law. He meant it mainly to the scientific world and never to the complex world of sociology and pshychology, but it applies well here too. It can be stated as “Anything can go wrong at any time”. This simple statement, meant for the mathematical analysis for computing and largely used with context of Moore’s Law of computing, can be successfully applied in human relation. A relation, however big and small, with one person or with a entire society, offline or online, sexual or non sexual, just any kind of relation is never 100% safe, or applying Murphy’s Law here, any relation can go wrong at any time. Just when you are thinking that nothing can go wrong, it goes terribly wrong. There is always, ALWAYS, a significant chance of failures. So those people who dream big but are unconciously afraid of loosing the success fame of their dreams, there self destructive behavior are going on for the certain. It goes wrong in such a way you can never ever imagine , after all our concious mind is not divine. We have but only a mere percentage of our brain power. And unfortunately, computers and science are not advanced enough to calculate the effectiveness of a thing as complex as human relationship (maybe that’s why Muphy derived the law in the first place). Whatever the case maybe, every human relation is bound to fail, it’s obviously seen on the person to person relation as exhibited by breakups and divorces and firing of the juniors or back stabbing by your best friend. On larger scale, we can take the example of the Russian Revolution, when the communist regime took over, the relationship which the Russians maintained till than were drastically changed and eliminated. By the takeover of Lenin and his Bolsheviks, the entire societal and adminstrative framework of Russia was changed and a new regime of communism USSR was born.

However, given this knowledge, isnt it ironical that human relations are still maintained and cherished. It’s a biggest irony that the very essence of human society can go drastically wrong any given time, and yet we live our lives like we should. Imagine if now, the entire world is told at the same time, that earth is going to collapse tommrow, what chaos it will generate! But here lies the difference, we know that human relation is bound to collapse at any given time, but we don’t know WHEN. It’s the human curiosity of the scientific mind that he is not able to perceive the When and How, the requirements for his hungry greedy mind to generate chaos with the herd mentality. In other words, this mystery of a relation going all wrong, makes us even more likening to maintain it. It’s this risk factor that makes it likeable. Also since human relations are essential for human beings, they make it and enjoy it. When it perishes, they lament it. Certain less brave and emotionally weak end their lives (the Recession generated many suicides in the professional field in the 21st century, certainly not many were able to cope up with the unlikely termination of their professional “relation”). And to be frank, more than 90% humans don’t try to understand the mystery and complexity of making or maintaing a relation or don’t want to engage on the same, there minds are mainly too absorbed and engaged more in enjoying rather than asking how I am enjoying this! Taking a cue from Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time, “Gone are the days of thinkers like Socrates and Aristotle”. Today the world is on a revolution, the 20th century saw the birth of Machines and see what effect it did to the world, with british colonization and rise of English to the two world wars and the communism and modern art to heavy metal to our life like dependency on basic needs like electricity and fan etc. The machines in short! Heck if you compare the societies of 20th century of Democracy, Diplomacy (even with both wars) and individual freedom (although greater freedom in the end of 20th century) and the 19th century of the Knights, empires, slaves and the constanst wars they would be obvious. The beginning of 21st century has started what can be called a Technological Revolution, a tad similar to the beginning of 20th century which saw birth of industrial revolution! (and look what effect it did to the world in just one century!)

The 21st century will witness the birth of AI and a complete overhaul of our global society, on a far larger scale than the 20th century Industrial Revolution. I don’t want to be futuristic because it’s not in my audacity to think on the greater and scientific uncertainity of the future, but still, what can be generally perceived is that by 3010, our world would be too digitilized and too narrowed in the earthly pleasure that this virtualization would bring. The human relation would either cease to exist with the virtualization and the AI (it’s effect are seen now with increasingly number of loners and computer addicts being generated over the internet, especially in States. Large number of deaths due to computer games in South Korea’s gaming cafes are another such example) or would reach such a transition phase that it’s definition would be rewritten to suit the social needs of that era. It’s possible that there would be large scale world societal collapse and a virtual society would be formed with the traditional laws of relation applying there. It’s even possible that the relation would be shared by a few very wealthy persons over the greater narrow minded masses, the adverse effects of complete capitilization reaching it’s ultimatum. Lot’s of possibilities exist if we start thinking about the future society and the machines and the ongoing technological revolution. But one thing is certain, human relation, however it may be manipulated or defined or even reach a new phase altogether, will always be there, even though the humans at the next century would be the AI and the Machines. Relationship, like I said in the very beginning, is the essence of any society and nucleus of the human being to be called humans.

To conclude we can again come to the very first sentence of this para, it’s very easy to start a relation by a simple “Hi”, but the efforts that follow in keeping up with the expecations of the relation,as it turns more and more complex (like from acquitance to true love), is what defines the human being and the society at large. Many people develop this fear of loosing this relation after giving all there sincere efforts, hence they develop suicidal or self destructive behavior. But what they must know is that all relation has to end at one point or other. It’s the sweet (and bitter) journey that matters, the efforts you put and the little or greater happiness and sweet memories you obtained or extracted from your efforts. It’s the lessons you learned in the journey, of how the relation changed your life (even for worse). It’s that which matters, not the final destination which is always the end, either by death or by any other countless expected or unexpected reasons. Many people are always worried about their relation, worried sick that it will end someday. They must understand clearly that One relation ends doesn’t means life ends, because it’s always easy to make a new relation, isnt it? (but some relations can never be totally replaced or forgotten, their memories will always make us laugh or cry and their values will always be reflected in our way of life. It’s easy to start a new relation, but it’s close to impossible to forget and completly move on from the previous relation). Life is all about moving on from one phase to another, enjoying and living all the phases as it proceeds with their change in relationships.


~ by gravito on April 15, 2010.

2 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Human Relation, Definition & the Future”

  1. so is it a paradox then? expectations can ruin any relationship, and yet it is expectations that both start a relationship and keep people going in it either forever, or until they can’t go in it any longer.

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